Patjama
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A Funny Ol’ Week

17th February 2017

I don’t think there’s any way of summing this week up quickly so before I even write any of it, I must warn you it might a long one. It’s been all other the place, to be quite honest. Not just physically, but mentally as well. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has weeks like this one and I’m pretty sure I’ll look back in a month or two and be like, “gosh, what a funny ol’ week!” But it’s Monday as I write this, which will be posted on Friday the 17th. This post is to be focused on the dates from Monday the 6th, to Sunday the 12th. Possibly, one of the toughest weeks I’ve had. If anyone’s read my ‘Waiting For That One Day’ post, you might know that not too long ago, I had a job interview. In the post, I mainly mentioned how bloody nervous I was for it, but like the rest of time, it flew past; I had the interview, progressed onto another one and ended up getting the job. I was over the moon. Anxious, but other the moon.

Before I knew it, I was setting my alarm for six a.m. and accepting the fact that I wasn’t going to get much sleep the night before my first shift. My anxiety was on fire. I only ever really get serious anxiety when going somewhere new on my own and having to drive there. Plus I had to be up early, which was pretty much the cherry on top. And do you know what’s really weird, when I feel anxious, I also feel beyond lonely. Like, once, for example, when I had to drive somewhere in the early hours of the morning, I had the sat nav on just because I wanted to hear someone else’s voice. Which, thinking about now, is pretty weird. It was this feeling, however, that sparked an idea. As I was driving along a long and windy country lane, the sun just rising, I starting mentally planning this post. A blog post for people who like me suffer from either random waves of anxiety or loneliness and need something, whether that’s the sat nav or maybe, my brain thought, a blog post, to make you feel less so.

Feeling either a little bit lonely or whole lotta lonely is horrible. In my eyes, no one, ever, should feel lonely. And I can’t speak for everyone, but feeling like the only person on this planet is most possibly one of the worst feelings ever. There was this one time in my life where, for the first time, I learnt what it really meant to be lonely. And it wasn’t even like I technically was. I had my family and friends around me all the time and if I needed someone to talk to, my friend was literally a five-minute drive away. But still, I was. I was beyond lonely. At the time, a lot was going on, which I don’t plan on going into detail, but let’s just say I wasn’t the happiest. I was desperate for change and totally in need of someone to come along and tell me everything was going to be alright. Which it was. It totally was. But I remember at the time just feeling as low as low and as if it was impossible to come back up from such a low and empty place. But I did, even though sometimes those feelings come creeping back and I have to find ways to ease them. Which is why I’m doing this blog post. For anyone who knows exactly what I mean, or is in the eye of the storm right now, for them to know they’re in fact not alone. In fact, the solo boat they’re in right now, on the sea of emptiness, has actually been sailed across a lot of times. By me and many, many others.

So if you ever do or ever have felt lonely, please remember you’re indeed not alone. There are so many people out there who feel the same and as a fellow lone wolf, I hope this has helped. The main purpose of this post was so whenever you’re having a moment of loneliness, whether in the early hours of a frosty morning, or you’re staying away from home and you haven’t quite found your feet yet, flick back to this post as a little reminder that you’re not lost within a lonely sea.

Thank you ever so for reading this blog post and I really do hope it has helped. It isn’t as long as I expected it would be, but it is straight from the heart. Like I said before, please come back to this is you ever need a little reminder or if you’re feeling a bit alone. Feel free to comment down below any feedback or if this post has helped you anyway. It’s helped me by writing it, that’s for sure. Thank you so much for paying my blog a little visit and I do hope I’ll see you again. Sending all my love,

– Pat xx